We can probably all agree that when it comes to guys, they just don’t make them like they used to. What happened to all of the chivalrous gentlemen of yore? Where are the Cary Grants and Rock Hudsons? Where are the Jack Dawsons and Noah Calhouns? Even if we set aside all of our romantic expectations of what we’re looking for in a man, it seems like the good ones are few and far between. The way our society evolving has turned our selection of eligible bachelors into a lovely assortment of hardened, complacent, selfish, commitment-phobe men who’d rather be single forever than settle down with a good woman. But of course, that’s not the rule here. So, how could you find a nice guy?
How to Find a Nice Guy
Know Your True Intention
Have a look in the mirror and ask yourself why you’re looking for someone to love. Many women look for men just to fill some psychological void. Your state of mind should be in a healthy place before you can cultivate a good relationship with a nice guy. If you find that what you’re looking for is someone to just fill a hole, then perhaps it’s time to speak to a professional about your feelings, and work on them before jumping into a love affair.
Always Be You
When you first meet a guy, you want to put on your best face for him, and that’s OK. Just don’t go overboard with trying to impress him. You have to be true to yourself, because you don’t want this potential Mr. Nice Guy to fall for someone you are not. With time, the truth always comes out. If you dress yourself up and wear a lot of makeup when you first meet him, he’ll be shocked to see you in your sweats, and he might not like it. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look nice when you’re going out, but just be realistic.
Have Respect for Yourself
Something you should never sacrifice is you morals. Never go against your own morals to keep a guy around. A nice guy will respect you and the respect you have for yourself, because he also has and values his own morals and beliefs. Understand your worth and don’t give yourself away too freely, but only when you feel comfortable and when the time is right. That is a decision that is up to you and only you.
Get Out There
You can’t just sit around reading articles online about how to find a nice guy without actually putting yourself out there! How are the nice guys going to find you if you’re hiding at home? There are a million ways to get out there and meet some nice guys. You can try the online dating scene, which is growing in popularity every day. You can get involved in extracurricular activities like volunteering, working out, or taking a hobby class to meet new people with similar interests to yours.
Don’t Play Games
Playing deceptive games of the heart is a great way to hurt someone who trusts you. Keep it real and never play games. You’ll earn the respect of a good guy if you’re honest with yourself and with him. If you like him, tell him! Don’t play hard to get and push him away. The thrill of the chase is for the kind of guy who won’t want to stick around in the long-term. If you want to get into the heart of a nice guy, you have to be honest and open.
Make It Joyful
If you want to know how to find a nice guy, maybe you just need to get them attracted to you. You can spend all your time complimenting the guy you’re after, but compliments get old and are usually reserved for people who aren’t close to each other. Make the relationship playful and honest; just look at the happy couple around you. They’re not super serious with each other all the time, but are always teasing each other, flirting, joking, and laughing. That’s because their connection is deep and real. If you can make a guy laugh from his heart, he’s going to want you.
Be Emotionally Intelligent
Your emotions are powerful. They can build you up, and tear you down. You have to learn how to control your emotions and how to be emotionally intelligent so that you don’t become a burden on someone else. Only an emotionally stable individual is fit for a relationship, and for sharing their emotions with their partner. A lot of relationships don’t work out because one or both of them weren’t able to handle their emotions. Jealousy, for example, is one of those emotions that if not controlled, can drive an otherwise happy union right into Splits Ville.
Be Realistic About Your Expectations
While you shouldn’t expect the man you end up with to bring down the moon and the stars for you, you should still have some expectations of him… realistic expectations. The thing is, love is prevailing, but it cannot conquer all differences. Let’s say you’re very religious, and would a relationship with an Atheist work out? Probably not, because this is a major difference in core values. You should think about what you want your man to be and what characteristics he should have before entering a relationship, and stick to it. What's more, bear in mind that the prefect man of one's imagination doesn't exist, so give up the perfectionism.
How to find a nice guy? Stop thinking you are the princess and the center of the world and forget about all the fairytales you’ve read. Don’t think you’re ever going to find a man who does exactly what you want and when you want it. Life is unpredictable, and so are people. No happy relationship comes without sacrifice and compromise. The real nice guy isn’t the one who brings you flowers every day over the top romantic gestures, but someone who is considerate and willing to work towards keeping you happy every day by making compromises… but you have to do the same in return to meet him in the middle and to keep him.
Men are simple creatures who don’t often pick up on hints, whether they’re physical, verbal, or even more cryptic. Smiling at a man is not enough to convey that you’re interested. Instead, you have to be very clear with him, otherwise he won’t be sure of your intentions. Your body language can help drive the point home, but you can’t rely on that alone. Flirt with the object of your affection in a playful and easy way without coming off like a sure thing. As he warms up to your attention, you can talk to him about your feelings.