Show us a couple who never had a fight, and we’ll show you a couple who are not in love. Where there is love, there are bound to be arguments and occasional fights. It’s how you handle the afterwards of the dispute with your woman that will define the longevity of your relationship. So if you desperately want to patch up with her, here’s how to make it up to your girlfriend in 3 steps.
Step 1: Reassess the Quarrel
The best thing to find a solution after a heated argument with your girl is to back off and take a break to calm down. Tell her you need some time to understand all that has happened and that you will discuss this in some time. She’ll appreciate it.
The best way to make yourself calm is to take a leisurely, gentle walk or meet an old friend you haven’t seen in some time. Get your mind off from the quarrel and do something that relaxes you.
Evaluate the reason for fighting
So why did you guys fight in the first place? It’s essential to review why you had that argument and if you could have said or done something differently. An honest analysis of that incident and its reason would help in this regard.
Recall what both of you said. Was there a tipping point or a trigger that was responsible for the whole fight? Are you disappointed with your choice of words used in your argument?
Also realize that after an intense fight like this, how you remember and interpret it could be quite different from how she does.
Embrace your emotions
Acknowledge and experience your emotions. Do not put a tight lid on your feelings; instead, you should accept them. It’s okay to be angry or sad sometimes. You’ll only do yourself harm if you choose to neglect these feelings.
Understand that just as your response during that huge fight may not have been completely logical, in the same way she too may have said something irrational. So don’t take it to heart.
Step 2: Apologize to Her
Accept your mistake
Make a sincere, unconditional apology. Say “I am sorry” and mean it. Only you are responsible for how you act and what you say, so do not give justifications for what you did or said. And definitely, do not subtly blame her for your emotional response. It will only backfire on you and anything else you do to patch up may not help.
Promise her you won’t do it again
Make an honest promise to her (and yourself) you’ll try to improve and do your best not to create such situations and talk irresponsibly in the future. Make it an effort to not get too stressed out, give each other space and understand each other’s point of view. This will really go a long way in helping you keep your promise of not starting a fight or diffusing a huge argument.
Show empathy with her
Simply saying sorry may not be enough; you need to show you understand how this huge argument has affected her. Perhaps she is deeply anguished by all of it and may be reevaluating this relationship. If you let her know you understand her feelings at this point, you can still save your relationship.
Listen to her
Once you’re done apologizing and showing you understand her feelings, just keep quiet. Do not just go on and on. Allow her to vent out now. Patiently listen to what she has to say, and you will not only score some redeeming points, you may even get some valuable insights on her perspective that will help you control the situation should it ever occur in future.
“Can I do something to make you happy?”
Show enough sincerity in your eyes and voice and that this by itself will probably make her smile. A dinner at her favorite restaurant, a bunch of flowers or a date at the hangout where you first met would bring fond memories to her, reminding how happy you’ve been together. And what happened recently was just a minor bump in your otherwise happy and long journey.
Step 3: Do Something Extra Sweet for Her
Choose simple, inexpensive gifts
Instead of buying something grand that can make her cautious, select something simple that shows your thoughtfulness and sensitivity.
Cook for her
You may not be a maestro, but hey it’s the thought that counts. Look up a recipe on Youtube and whip up a small meal just for you two. Make it a candlelit dinner to add romance to the food!
Send flowers to her workplace
Put a “Missing you already” label with it, and it will make her blush and brighten her entire day. When she comes back home, she may have a reward for you!
Record and play her favorite TV shows
You may have different choices when it comes to TV shows, but she’ll absolutely love you if you do this for her. You already know her best shows on TV, so record them before she comes home and watch together.
Go on nostalgic trips
Remember where you first met? Or where you proposed to her? Perhaps it was at a cafe down the road, or in an art gallery. Now it is a good time to revisit those places and cherish those fond memories of your time together.
Get liked by her family and friends
Her family may hold the key to your future with your girlfriend. Get close with her dad, probably watch a game or two with him or play a round of golf. If he’s happy with you, your girl will be happy with you. And as for her friends, try to know her best pals by name and don’t shy away from meeting them if she insists.