The society expects you to be nice to others. When growing up, you are always reminded not to be mean, stingy or arrogant. But here is the bad news -- no one ever tells you that being too good can cause you problems, maybe worse problems than what you would get for being bad. You are conditioned not to put your needs first. Sometimes you even find it difficult to say no when asked for a favor which you may have no clue about how you could be of help. You need to take act now!
How to Not Let People Walk All Over You
Learn to say no
Doing a favor for someone once in a while will not hurt. However, sometimes people will turn you into a doormat expecting you to do whatever they ask. People will even get angry if you say no because you've unknowingly trained them to feel entitled to you and what you have to offer. The trick is as simple as learning to say NO! Be clear that you have priorities and they have to respect that.
Stick to your decision
Now that you have learnt to say no, the next thing is sticking to it no matter what. People will get angry when you refuse to do something you have been doing for them for some time. They will even badmouth you because they feel entitled to favors they did not deserve in the first place. Remember no one thanked you when you were a doormat. Simply stand your ground, say no and stop others from walking all over you.
Communicate
Do not get frustrated in silence simply because you do not want to offend someone. They might not agree with your opinion but at least they heard you out. If you become a doormat, no one will respect your opinion. People will naturally take advantage of others until they are stopped. It is your duty to stop them by letting them know that you have an opinion that needs to be respected. Communication is a great tip on how to not let people walk all over you.
Be an equal
Most people prefer taking than giving. This just comes naturally. People will be glad to receive favors but find it hard to reciprocate. Stop being a doormat expecting people to like you or help you out in return--they will not! Real friendships do not work that way. It has to be a two-way thing. You ought to be equal in a healthy relationship. Just match what you get from the other end to avoid being misused in the name of being nice.
It's not necessary to make everyone like you
People will thank you and make you feel great about yourself for doing nice things. However, you could get addicted to the affirmations and turn into a doormat. You begin to seek acceptance from everyone. But it is not necessary for everyone to like you. Remember, these people who seem like you may be not doing this for you, but for the favor you can offer them. It is not real and will end immediately if you stop offering the favors. You are just fine with a few people liking you for real.
Be yourself
Are you wondering how to not let people walk all over you? Do that one thing you always want to do but are not sure whether others would like it. Let it be about you this time. Whether it is dying your hair, getting that new look, going for holiday or treating yourself--go ahead and do it. Practice being comfortable with doing things your way without worrying about what other people may think about you. Remember, you are the priority of your life no matter how important you think others' opinions are.
Voice your opinion
If most people in your group of friends prefer a particular movie that does not interest you, it is okay to speak up. You do not have to make any demand. Just let people know what you feel. Remind them that you are an individual with preferences. Do not shy away from requesting someone to help you out. People cannot read your mind. You have to tell them what you want. Sometimes people do not do favors for you because you do not ask. Utter your opinion even before they seek answers from you; and if they ask, be willing to put forward what's in your mind.
Deal with your fears
Take time to examine your fears. Are they even real? Is it going to get that bad if you overcome them? You may be afraid that someone will leave you, no one will like you, or you will be left alone. It is time you unlocked the doors of that prison and walk out. Only you can get yourself out of that trap. The people around you may be used to you towing the line. However, they should be ready to accommodate the new you. If they are truly worth your time, they should be willing to accept that you also have your needs.
Respect your self-worth
What you do for other people does not define your self-worth. It is noble to help out. However, do it because you want to, not because you feel obliged. You need to know how to help yourself before you extend a helping hand. Do it out of choice, not fear or guilt. Is it really genuine if you help others because you are afraid of feeling guilty if you don’t? Are you comfortable with others helping you out of fear? It is unwise to help others to the point of neglecting yourself.
Re-examine your boundaries
How to not let people walk all over you? Compare your boundaries to the limits you set on others. To what extent are you willing to be used by others? Examine what is acceptable versus what is unacceptable. This way, you are able to measure what you can do for others. Just how much can you tolerate? Are you aware of dignified and respectful treatment? Make a deliberate effort to distinguish unacceptable treatment. Set your limits and make them clear to the people around you.
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