A newly wedded couple is encountering problems in its sexual life. The husband is never having the desire for sex and when he does, he is only open to oral sex so that he can get in the mood. The wife does not get pleasure in giving oral sex to him anymore as she isn’t getting aroused with foreplay that she needs from him. The husband is mostly too exhausted to have sex and when he does have sex, he does not last long. He seeks only his pleasure and satisfaction which is why the wife hasn’t had an orgasm since her marriage. Since she has been disappointed too many times by her husband in bed, she does not find sex pleasing anymore and can’t get excited even. She has tried to talk to his husband but he pays no heed to her feelings, which has left her clueless as to what she should do now and is need of help.

My Husband Doesn't Satisfy Me Sexually: What Do People Say?

My husband doesn’t satisfy me sexually is a common complaint that many women have during their married lives. It is an issue that does not have any fixed or definite solution; however, the opinion and experiences of others can help you in finding a solution that is appropriate for your particular situation.

Opinion of Alisa Bowman

In my opinion the concern that my husband doesn’t satisfy me sexually is a universal one and means that the spouse in question sucks in bed. Since most people suck at this, it is not something to be embarrassed about either. The knowledge of how to please a man or a woman sexually is not something that is taught in school or is given as advice by grownups. This is why we all need lessons about how to please our partners. Curiosity, experimentation and study are the only way a couple can become good lovers.

If I had concerns that my husband doesn’t satisfy me sexually then this is what I would do.

  1. I would ask my husband if it is a good time to share something with him.

  2. I would tell him that I am nervous and scared to share the news with him as I don’t want to hurt his feelings and make him mad. I will ask him to promise me that he will hear me out, not react automatically to the news, think about it and then tell me what he thinks about the news.

  3. If he promises then I will tell him that I have lied about being satisfied in bed. I will then break the news that I have faked orgasms in the past as I hadn’t had one in real. I will convince him that I don’t feel good about this then tell him about the things I have been searching that can help us resolve this issue.

  4. Let him think it over a little and then explain that you want to try out new positions and techniques in bed, hoping that something might click. Ask him to learn about sexual techniques with you so that you can both find a solution to the problem.

Opinion of RedTeaSet

The husband’s ignorance of your pleasure is not a good thing and if left unresolved, it can lead to serious emotional trauma and resentment in the future.

If discussing the issue hasn’t resulted in a solution, then taking action is the next best option. In my experience, foreplay plays a major role in sex for women, while penetration remains the sole purpose for sex for men in my opinion. So, it’s best to let the husband wait until you think you have fully aroused.

Women orgasms are fueled by clitoral stimulation rather than penetrative sex. Having a penis inside the vagina just makes it better. However, that still requires adequate foreplay. It is important to keep in mind that it is the mind where the sex begins. If you haven’t been emotionally aroused, you won’t get wet.

If the wife thinks that she needs stroking, cuddling and kissing to get aroused then she should take the lead and do it to the husband first and then ask him to return the favor, but keep his penis well away from your vagina. Tell him your hotspots and make sure that he does not touch the obvious parts until you have been satisfactorily aroused. By this way, even if he does not last long after entering you, you will still reach your orgasm as you are adequately turned on by that time.

The Sensate Focus exercises are excellent too as they can help him in understanding that sex is mutual and includes foreplay too.

Making encouraging noises and comments when he does something that stimulates you can also help him in realizing what you want.

Make him realize that when he goes in dry, you feel sore as you haven’t been adequately turned on. Tell him that your vagina isn’t ready and ask him to spend time on you before entering you.

Opinion of aa889d

Although it might sound a bit extreme but

  1. The wife should not have any children with her husband until they resolve this issue.

  2. She must discuss this issue with the husband and tell him in clear terms that it can jeopardize their marriage.

  3. The couple must work together to find a solution or a compromise through counseling or any other means.

  4. If the husband does not want to cooperate with you then you must make a decision. If this issue is a deal breaker for you then make sure that he knows it.

  5. The wife must make a choice whether she want to live a one-sided sex life, ready to leave the husband or live celibate. Decide quickly because having a bad sex life is not something one can live with forever. If the husband is unwilling to resolve the issue then find someone who can satisfy yours sexual needs.

This is the reason why premarital sex is important. It gives you the chance to see whether you are compatible with your partner in all aspects of the relationship or not particularly those that are reserved only for the spouse.


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  • MaryJan.5 14:55
    I try to talk to my husband about I'm not satisfied in bed, we do it once or twice a month, he makes excuses every time I have needs, he can't do it in the evening before bed not even in the early morning. Now I want a divorce and he keep thinking he's not doing anything wrong and sex once or twice a month is normal. This is so frustrating. Not to mention he's a bit younger and only work part time, I work 10 hrs a day 7 days a week I pay all the bills he have nothing to worry about, and shouldn't be to tired to please me. I sleep naked I'm very attractive and always clean. With my ex he was 10 years older, he please me all the time we have sex 3 to 5 time in 24hr. I need advice. I'm the most outspoken and most attractive and smartest woman my husband ever be with, I gave him life and family he never had. What is his problem he can't please me in be and I'm tired of keep telling him and he don't seem to bother with it. I even tell him I'll divorce him for that reason.
  • KokoJan.5 03:36
    Only if I can have a man who can fuck me n satisfy my sexual need. Am married but not sexually happy at all.
  • KokoJan.5 03:26
    Am married for 4 years been with the guy for 15 years, am musturbating myself to sleep every night , while he is watching tv he will make sure am fast a sleep when he comes to bed, I ve tried to talk to him about it but it looks like he doesn't care, when ever we having sex I ended up fingerings myself to reach organism, am so lonely in my marriage pls advice.
  • Trish MaineNov.28 08:55
    The two of you are definitely not on the same page sexually. As much as he does not do what you want it is not totally his fault. In many things couples make a mistake of assuming that - if I want something then the partner should know how give it to me. Wrong! great sex and relationships are built on requesting what you want so that someone knows that you want something. In this case you may need to take things in your own hands for you to be satisfied. Everyone is different in what satisfies them, am guessing he does not satisfies you coz of the age old problem of most men in cumming too early. This can be remedied by the two of you widening up your sexual activities, like including a longer foreplay, oral sex ( where you can direct him in a great deal of what you want done, from pinching your clit lightly or harder to faster or slower movements). In fact you can even have sex alternatively, e.g during his day, sex would be about his satisfaction, during your day sex would be about your satisfaction even if it means he does not get any. The sex to make you come sometimes might not be ideal for him e.g. most men prefer deep penetration yet some women prefer shallow strokes or positions in which the “in and out” movements stimulates the clitoris. There is a great deal of time and knowledge investment required if you are to have the great sex life which you deserve. Books like Couples Sex Guide with Demonstrated Sex Positions and Orally Sucking Pleasure-Demonstrated Couples Guide 2nd Edition by Tafara Makopa Available on Amazon can help the two of you break the ice and start talking about the issue without blowing up the self-esteem of the other
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  • KiKi Sep.27 19:41
    I've been in a relationship for over a year now . And for the first six months sex was amazing and I was so much happier . and now i have stopped asking for sex and am thankful when he least gives me some but most of the time it's under five min . And I don't have the chance to get off. He also has a heart condition so I feel very bad to bring up the subject that I feel Unsatisfied and feel like I don't get sec enough . And whenever I try to touch him sexually he doesn't want me to . He doesn't even moan or say wow baby that feels good .What do I do ?
  • AustinJul.25 05:05
    My wife told me that if I could no longer please her in bed, that she would find some one else. Now she is the one not pleasing me,should I find some one else,I need more sex.
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  • SmoozyMay.27 17:09
    Hey ! First Of All , I Want You To Ask Yourself And Answer It Honestly ! Do You Love Him ? Does He Love You ? Because I Think That Most Marriage Problem Can Be Solved Easily If Is There Love Between The Couple ! So I Hope That You Are Loving Each Other The Lost Of Desire For Having Sex Is A Common Problem Between Couple ! I Want You To Start Thinking And Visualizing Your Husband As If It's Like Your First Time Meeting Or Seeing Each other ! Do You Remember That Feeling ? The Feeling Of Welling To Do Whatever It Take To Get Him Like You ! To Impress Him ! To Own And Win Him .. I Think The Desire Of Sex Is Lost When Couples Stop Doing Efforts And Not Caring About How The Other Feel And Think About ! So Start From The Beginning , Start Doing And Looking Sexy To Him , Smile All Day Long ... Because I Think That You Lost Your Interest In Each Other ! So Try To Gain it From The Beginning ! It's Not Gonna Be That Hard Because You Know What He Love And What He Nor Already ! Just Do Some Effort Even If It's Hard For You The Other Thing Is That Maybe Your Husband Is Having Problem'S At Work ! Or Family ! Friends ... Talk To Him About It ! It's So Simple To Ask Him Once You Will Gain His Attention And Interest In You Again ! You Gonna Start Feeling Each Other And Enjoying Your Life As You Bed Time
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