More and more couples these days are opting for non-monogamous relationship. In other words, it’s called an open relationship. In such relationships, two partners are committed to each other but at the same time, they are free to have physical relations with any other person, which he/she finds attractive. It's almost impossible to you to not feel attached or jealous sometimes, so live this way , it requires you to follow certain open relationship rules. Find them here.
Basic Rules for a Successful Open Relationship
In most of the cases, infatuation makes people decide to be in an open relationship instantly. They don’t take their time in understanding the pros and cons of it. As there are many negative aspects of it as well. Would you really be brave enough to share your love or let your partner sleep with someone else? So think wisely before saying yes to it. Once you are there, you have to accept things as they come.
Respect Each Other
Respect is the lifeline of any relation. In an open relationship, you have to be more respectful especially towards a partner who has given you freedom of living your life your own way. He/she trusts you and lets you get involved with others. For something that daring, you should respect him/her.
Set Your Boundaries
Before you go on with this relationship, make things clear between you two. There might be things related to sex that are off the table. So, it’s better to discuss them openly to keep your relationship smooth and steady. For example, if you are a bisexual, make sure that your partner knows it and has granted you permission to be with both genders. Or set a time frame for meeting with others be it weekly, monthly or in a fortnight. So that it does not affect your own relationship.
This is not one of those conventional open relationship rules, but still this is something you must do. Both partners, when having sex with some outsider, must use protection. None of you would like to gift your partner with some sexually transmitted disease like STDs. Would you??
Just Mind your Own Business
Actually it’s one of the golden open relationship rules. What the other one is thinking or doing should never be your concern. In an open relationship, you cannot impose yourself on him/her. Stay focused on yourself and that’s all. Remember, such relations have no depth and genuineness (unlike monogamy). Calling them ‘superficial relationship’ would not be wrong. In short, mind your own business!
There should be a Limit
This point is correlated to the open relationship rule mentioned above. It is accepted that the couples in such committed relationships have to keep out of each other’s business. But there should be a limit for everything. Limit your sexual indulgence with another person. Don’t do it to the extent that it raises the feelings of rejection and betrayal in your partner. Many times such repeated sexual encounters may cause the end of a long term relationship. The best way is to be with an outsider when your partner is not in the town.
No Secrets Between You!
A successful open relationship is based on mutual understanding and trust. Both partners should have great confidence in one another. Keeping secrets and hiding things from your partner can damage the fragile balance. Stay loyal to this sexual agreement between both of you and never try to hide the people you are sleeping with.
Note: Communicate with your partner, about the people you are dating and not about other horny details related to your sexual experiences.
Reveal the Deal!
Any outsider that you are hooking up with at the moment, has the right to know this deal of an open relationship. It is highly recommended to let him/her know that you are already committed to someone else and the reason you are with him/her, is nothing more than physical attraction. Informing it earlier may keep that third person from getting involved with you emotionally.
No Place for Mutual Friends!!
Having an affair or a timely relationship with a random person is ok. But getting involved with a mutual friend may trouble your partner. He/she may take it as cheating. This is something that most of the people don’t feel comfortable with. So, it’s better to keep your mutual friends out of it.
Don’t Confuse It with Polyamory!
When you are in an open relationship, you are supposed to stay loyal and committed romantically to your primary relationship. Remember, you are open to new partners physically (not romantically). So, there should be no display of love between you and the people you are going to sleep with. If you don’t follow this rule, you may end up breaking up. So, before you opt for an open relationship, ask yourself, is it what you are really looking for???
Note: Polyamory is where you are allowed to get involved with any other person both sexually and emotionally.
Never Bring an Outsider to your Home
It’s one of the most important open relationship rules to have a stable and long term primary relationship. Your home is your private place. No third person, (the one you are sleeping with) should be allowed to come to your place. It may badly affect your relationship with your long term partner.
Your Primary Relation Comes First!
Having sex with many people, should never affect your feelings as a couple. Focusing on your commitment as a couple should be your priority. All other dating plans should come second to it. And strive hard to maintain an air of love and sexual attraction between you two. And you should give him/her preference over everyone else.
Don’t Advertise your Relationship Status!
This agreement of an open relationship should remain a secret between you two. Or you can share it with a few close and trustworthy friends or family members. Advertising your relationship status to everyone would not be suitable. For a majority of people, even today, an open relationship is nothing more than a taboo. So, revealing it to everyone may prove embarrassing. As they might not share the same views about non-monogamous relationship, as you do.